These days I've been missing my Baba so very much, its unbelievable that 17 years have passed by that he has not been in our lives. Every memory is so fresh, it feels like he's just gone out to the market and will come and ring the bell soon... ha ha..
My baba used to be a mining engineer and used to have to live in colonies in different parts of interior India, and would get to come home only once in 6 months or so. We used to live in Calcutta; we would comprise of my ma, my grandpa and my kaku (my baba's younger brother). My kaku was the one who would take care of me all the time and as a child, I used to often wonder why I call my father "Kaku" while everyone else call theirs "Baba" lol.
Even though I was just 3 years old, I cannot forget the moment when I first met my father and realized that 'this' is my very own 'Baba', I remember everything so vividly :)
I was playing "on" the carom board (notice the "on"), with all the powder on it, what a lovely stage it was for me to dance and slip and fall on it he he.. then my kaku came and said "come lets go outside, Baba has come". I was sooo reluctant to leave my dance floor, and also, I was always slightly shy to meet new people (even though nobody really believes it coz I talk so much to complete strangers:P).. but I went with my kaku and saw this man sitting on the bed next to my ma.. he smiled kindly as i came, and I was hiding behind my kaku.. my kaku and ma were both coaxing me to go to my baba, saying "come on go to your baba, how will your baba feel?"...
But none of them knew about the silent communication that was going on between me and my baba.. Baba just sat there on the bed, not moving, not saying a word, just smiling and looking at me.. telling me with his eyes "come to me my child, I am yours and only yours.. and I'm waiting for you to understand that.. but its OK.. take your time my love".......
I was looking at his eyes and face constantly... soon he slowly took out a toy, a jockey seated on a horse, a red one it was :) he turned the key round and round, slowly, and then just put it down on the floor.. it started advancing towards me slowly... now how did he know that I love horses so much :?
I cannot forget the feelings I experienced in those moments, in my entire life... I think for me, those moments are the most important moments in my life...!
I could feel his love so strongly, I slowly walked to him and he picked me up and placed me on his lap... he didn't hug me hard, didn't talk to me animatedly like how people usually talk to kids.. he just let me sit there on his lap, with his arms placed softly around me... giving me all the time to accept him... which I did, almost instantly. I don't know if this happens to everyone, but I remember experiencing a different and a very unique feeling, that of a daughter for her father.. its very different..!
From that moment on, I never felt alone, even though my father was not always with me, I always felt him with me... I guess that's what true love makes us feel.. like how we feel about God, we trust His love coz we believe that God's love is true... My baba was my God... the one whose love I could completely trust, the one who understood me completely, without having to speak one word :)
My father was loved and respected by everyone, I can never stop being proud enough of being his daughter. And I wait for the day I will be with him again :)
He taught me how to love, truly and completely..! The kind of love that only an infant can give.. He used to say "Give true love to everyone, and you'll see people around you are genuinely happy."
I love you baba, we all do :)
My baba used to be a mining engineer and used to have to live in colonies in different parts of interior India, and would get to come home only once in 6 months or so. We used to live in Calcutta; we would comprise of my ma, my grandpa and my kaku (my baba's younger brother). My kaku was the one who would take care of me all the time and as a child, I used to often wonder why I call my father "Kaku" while everyone else call theirs "Baba" lol.
Even though I was just 3 years old, I cannot forget the moment when I first met my father and realized that 'this' is my very own 'Baba', I remember everything so vividly :)
I was playing "on" the carom board (notice the "on"), with all the powder on it, what a lovely stage it was for me to dance and slip and fall on it he he.. then my kaku came and said "come lets go outside, Baba has come". I was sooo reluctant to leave my dance floor, and also, I was always slightly shy to meet new people (even though nobody really believes it coz I talk so much to complete strangers:P).. but I went with my kaku and saw this man sitting on the bed next to my ma.. he smiled kindly as i came, and I was hiding behind my kaku.. my kaku and ma were both coaxing me to go to my baba, saying "come on go to your baba, how will your baba feel?"...
But none of them knew about the silent communication that was going on between me and my baba.. Baba just sat there on the bed, not moving, not saying a word, just smiling and looking at me.. telling me with his eyes "come to me my child, I am yours and only yours.. and I'm waiting for you to understand that.. but its OK.. take your time my love".......
I was looking at his eyes and face constantly... soon he slowly took out a toy, a jockey seated on a horse, a red one it was :) he turned the key round and round, slowly, and then just put it down on the floor.. it started advancing towards me slowly... now how did he know that I love horses so much :?
I cannot forget the feelings I experienced in those moments, in my entire life... I think for me, those moments are the most important moments in my life...!
I could feel his love so strongly, I slowly walked to him and he picked me up and placed me on his lap... he didn't hug me hard, didn't talk to me animatedly like how people usually talk to kids.. he just let me sit there on his lap, with his arms placed softly around me... giving me all the time to accept him... which I did, almost instantly. I don't know if this happens to everyone, but I remember experiencing a different and a very unique feeling, that of a daughter for her father.. its very different..!
From that moment on, I never felt alone, even though my father was not always with me, I always felt him with me... I guess that's what true love makes us feel.. like how we feel about God, we trust His love coz we believe that God's love is true... My baba was my God... the one whose love I could completely trust, the one who understood me completely, without having to speak one word :)
My father was loved and respected by everyone, I can never stop being proud enough of being his daughter. And I wait for the day I will be with him again :)
He taught me how to love, truly and completely..! The kind of love that only an infant can give.. He used to say "Give true love to everyone, and you'll see people around you are genuinely happy."
I love you baba, we all do :)
